Lady Gaga on the cover of Elle Magazine Jan 2010. Should she make some movies like Madonna did? Hopefully not the bad ones...

There was a bit of a media stink this past week regarding recording artist and performer Lady Gaga a.k.a. Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta and her recent trip to a NY Mets baseball game. Seems she arrived late (5th inning) and despite having great seats behind home plate saw some photographers there and decided to strip down to her skivvies, leave, go up to Jerry Seinfeld’s booth (Seinfeld wasn’t there) and smooch a gal pal, flip the bird, and I’m not exactly sure in what order. What has prompted me to write this post is simply three things:

    1- I like her as an artist and performer; try getting ‘Bad Romance’ and ‘Telephone’ out of your brain a few times once you heard them. You would have better results quitting smoking.
    2- Due to her recent -and controversial – video ‘Alejandro’, she has gotten more comparisons to Madonna, since, back in the late 80’s, the was the uproar over Madonna’s “Like A Prayer” which also used religious symbolism.
    3-Dumb Comments from some of The Monsters, (Gaga’s legion of fans) which I have noticed on news stories regarding the incident at Citi Field, and Gaga’s Twitter response.

Now, let me get this one thing clear as crystal: People occasionally do stupid stuff. Stephani is not immune to this. She wants to be the center of attention, she will find a way to get it. When I looked up the Mets story, I chose a random article from the New York Daily News in which
Joanna Molloy
fairly criticized the performer for a lack of tact. Again, this is nothing to do with Gaga’s talent, just her blunder….in not just the ball game, but at her sister’s graduation (which in my view, is spot on, even if said institution treated you bad and does not deserve your presence- you are there to respect a family member, nothing more) and of course, the Madonna-ish music video which thumbs a nose at the Catholic Church. While I thought some comments were unfair against Gaga- (“no talent, ugly, wannabe…blah blah blah) and I was pleased to see commenters there to bring up Grace Jones and Dale Bozzio of the 80’s New Wave band Missing Persons…sure enough, there were the Kool Aid drinkers :

…isn’t this America where you are allowed freedom of expression, freedom what to wear?

“You think that ‘the kids around’ don’t see a million times worse..”

While both comments have elements of truth in them, they are weak arguments. They don’t hold up to reason. The first one is correct in that there is a freedom of expression. But what wrong is that it depends on the public forum. How many women, famous or non-famous, do you see at baseball, basketball or football games strip down to underwear or a lack thereof? Give me an estimate, you’ll win the debate. But you can’t. Which brings me to the next one, which is even more silly. If families go the ballgame to have a good time, yes, they may be exposed to a few fans using rough language. The kids may hear stuff on the playground from other kids who hear it somewhere else. That misses the point. The point is, yes, some young people may be exposed to that sort of thing but does that possibility give one the right to contribute to that? And what if there are kids who haven’t been introduced to this behavior until *you* induct them? See, you have to understand why people are angry over this. Personally, I would have liked to hear Lady Gaga was invited to sing the National Anthem, (even her Statue Of Liberty Dominatrix attire…? Well, okay maybe not)… but anyway, regardless of Gaga’s stunts (who I still like, I’m a forgiving type) this NYDN article got my brain rolling.
Let’s say Gaga did follow Madonna…right to the movies.
Who's That Girl (1987) UK quad poster
Where would Lady Gaga fit in an a movie, on screen, and not just in a soundtrack? Well, the first film that comes to mind for me is if a studio chose to remake 1987’s Who’s That Girl, itself a loose remake of the 1938 Howard Hawks film Bringing up Baby. I would actually think in Hollywood’s remake frenzy, something should be offered Gaga’s way, even if nothing comes of it. She’s too well known to have a little walk on for exposure like 1983’s Vision Quest, although Madonna was simply a niteclub singer; no acting required. (“Crazy For You” was the song, BTW) and while MGM bought up Orion and now MGM is in trouble, they could sell off Desperately Seeking Susan to another studio. That other studio could remake it…and…I know, I’m depressing some people already. It is, aside from maybe Weird Science the last 80’s holy grail which hasn’t been remade or plans and schemes thereof. Still, Susan is a maybe. No…I choose Who’s That Girl due to Madonna’s look in that film. Our Lady Gaga might get away with that look.

But why stop at Madonna?

After all, Debbie Harry of ‘Blondie’ fame (“Heart Of Glass, “Rapture” “Call Me”) appeared in David Cronenberg’s sci-fi film Videodrome. Not that I would hope Gaga follow here and burn cigarettes in her breasts, but this film is being planned for a remake (see, I TOLD you nothing is sacred!) and I can totally see Gaga’s lips on seductive TV screen. I wonder who the actor replacing James Woods would be- and would that new actor also stick his head into the plasma screen? Love live the new flesh. Anyhow, I could buy Gaga here. Sure, I would like an actual actress. But hey, a pop star was in this. Why not?

The next possibility is a zombie picture. Not because I wrote one on spec, but because Bif Naked had a cameo in Uwe Boll’s House Of The Dead. Not a good picture by any means, and Bif was mainly in background. Gaga could be in a zombie picture. Not to mention the fact that if you saw a photo of how she looked this past week when she showed up for her sister’s commencement, she did sort of look like a horror movie extra. So, zombie picture. Or a Killer Nurse. Eaten by a Monster. (I know. I’m bad).

Light Of Day
We got a Madonna, Deborah Harry…why not Joan Jett? I can’t find any Pat Benatar movies out there (the title song to The Legend Of Billie Jean does not count) but I do recall the 1987 Joan Jett-Michael J Fox drama Light Of Day. I’m not suggesting this be remade, but a film like it could work out well for Gaga. She is playing…a musician. Imagine that. Could face the same struggles, problems…yeah. Only instead of guitar, she’s on the piano.

Finally, let’s say she follows nobody’s footsteps and does a movie that no other pop or rock performer has done. A musical. But not just any musical. I will now welcome the wrath of all her monsters for even suggesting this. I mean, I think I’ll get a few saying “Videodrome. I can see that” or a “Zombie film” (or even a ROB ZOMBIE film, for that matter) but here’s where I think she can truly shine. I will not say it, I’ll just leave this write up with one last image…
You will understand.

Little Shop Of Horrors